you say I put the hamster in the microwave on purpose
I think you flushed all my tropical fish
you assume that I'm the one who threw up on your carpet
but I know you broke my favorite dish

you'll arm some atomic warheads
while I put on my rubber suit
and Japanese people will scream with their mouths out of sync
while you and I duke it out on mt. fuji
they're making popcorn and selling front row seats
because you and I must look like a monster movie

six months ago I signed us up for couples yoga
you got the refund, never paid me back
you say I vacuumed up all your star wars legos
because you broke my DVD, season one of samurai jack

I'll amass my team of scientists
while you scale the empire state buidling
and Japanese people will scream with their mouths out of sync
while you and I duke it out on mt. fuji
they're making popcorn and selling front row seats
because you and I must look like a monster movie

you'll amass your team of scientists
while I put on my rubber suit

and aliens from Venus will turn me into a giant robot
while the coast guard tracks you on radar clicks
fat guys at comic con are selling figurines of us
because you and I must look like a monster flick

and japanese people will scream with their mouths out of sync
while you and I duke it out on mt. fuji
they're making popcorn and selling front row seats
because you and I must look like a monster movie